'There was no uncertainty in it, no question or lingering pause. There was nothing for her. She clamped her hand harder around the phone, but she didnt want to betray her chaotic feelings. She wan't good at being left.
Sometimes you hung up the phone and felt the bruising of your heart. It hurt now and it would hurt more later. The conversation was too unsatisfying to continue and yet you couldn't stand for it to end. She wanted to throw the phone and also herself against the wall.
For the first few months of school, nothing felt familiar and nothing felt real, except maybe, food. She felt as though she'd stepped out of the flow of time. She watched it go past, but she didn't take part. She just waited there, wondering when her life would start, again.
Desire was just the dumbest thing. You wanted what you wanted intil it was yours. Then you didn't want it anymore. You took what you had for granted until it was no longer yours. This, it seemed to her, was one of the crueler paradoxes of human nature.
But so what if it was an illusion? Illusions could be really helpful sometimes.'
We could leave this town and run forever; 4/01/2007 10:07:00 PM;
